Sometimes the words we reach for to comfort someone accidentally minimize what they’re going through. None of these phrases are said with bad intent, but they can still leave someone feeling more alone rather than less.
10 Phrases to Avoid
“It could always be worse.” Comparison doesn’t reduce someone’s pain, it just tells them their pain doesn’t count.
“Everything happens for a reason.” This can feel dismissive when someone is in the middle of real pain and isn’t ready to look for meaning yet.
“Just stay positive.” This pressures someone to perform optimism instead of feeling what they actually feel.
“I know exactly how you feel.” Even with good intentions, this can shift focus away from their specific experience.
“You’ll get over it.” This minimizes the timeline and depth of what they’re actually processing.
“Other people have it worse.” This invalidates their experience by comparison.
“Just try not to think about it.” Avoidance rarely works, and it can make someone feel unheard.
“You’re so strong, you’ll be fine.” This can feel like pressure to keep performing strength rather than permission to struggle.
“Let me know if you need anything.” Well meaning, but it puts the burden on them to ask, which many people won’t do.
“This too shall pass.” True, but it can feel like a rush past what they’re feeling right now.
Supporting someone else well often starts with your own capacity to hold space for them. If you’re navigating something hard yourself, reach out for a free consultation.
Dealing With Loneliness and Disordered Eating During the Holidays
The holiday season can be a time of joy, but for many Canadians, it also brings loneliness and emotional eating. Understanding these challenges within the unique Canadian context can help us navigate the season with empathy and practical strategies.
Statistics and Trends in Canada
Loneliness and emotional eating during the holiday season are prevalent concerns. Here are some key statistics:
34% of Canadians report feelings of loneliness and depression during the holidays.
Among young adults aged 18–34, 54% experience heightened loneliness.
In Ontario, 40% of residents report negative emotions during the holiday season, the highest in any province.
While specific data on emotional eating in Canada is limited, research highlights a clear correlation between stress, loneliness, and disordered eating patterns.
Psychological Insights
The Canadian experience of loneliness and emotional eating during the holidays is shaped by various factors:
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
Canada’s long, dark winter months exacerbate depression, making feelings of isolation more acute during the holidays.
Cultural Expectations
The pressure to embody “holiday cheer” can leave those feeling lonely or isolated experiencing deeper disconnection.
Financial Stress
Economic challenges impact emotional well-being, with 44% of Canadians earning under $50,000 annually reporting increased sadness during the holidays.
The Lingering Impact of COVID-19
The pandemic has amplified feelings of isolation, particularly among Canadian youth, many of whom report a decline in mental health.
Coping Strategies and Interventions
If you’re managing loneliness or emotional eating during the holidays, these strategies can help:
Maintain Healthy Routines
Stick to regular exercise and balanced meals to stabilize mood and energy, even during busy holiday schedules.
Set Boundaries
Be mindful of your limits. Say “no” to activities that increase stress, and address your emotional and physical needs (e.g., hunger, anger, loneliness, or tiredness).
Prioritize Self-Care
Incorporate small acts of self-care, such as walking, listening to music, or journaling, to support emotional well-being.
Foster Social Connections
Combat loneliness through meaningful interactions, whether through video calls, small gatherings, or volunteering.
Cultural and Social Factors in Canada
Canadian cultural and social dynamics can exacerbate feelings of loneliness and emotional eating:
Media Portrayals: Idealized images of family gatherings can amplify feelings of inadequacy.
The Pandemic’s Legacy: Social isolation during COVID-19 left lasting effects, with many Canadians now rebuilding connections.
Food-Centric Celebrations: Canadian holiday traditions often center on rich, indulgent foods, posing challenges for those struggling with emotional eating.
Expert Recommendations and Canadian Resources
To support Canadians dealing with these challenges:
Mental Health Support
Good2Talk: A free, confidential support service for post-secondary students in Ontario
Phone: 1-866-925-5454
Text: GOOD2TALKON to 686868
Suicide Crisis Helpline: Dial 988 for immediate support or 1-844-437-3247 in Waterloo-Wellington.
Crisis Text Line powered by Kids Help Phone: Text (Connect)
For University of Guelph students, text “UofG” to 686868 to chat with a trained volunteer crisis responder
Disordered Eating Support
Dietitians of Canada: Find local experts who can assist with eating issues.
The holiday season can bring unique challenges for Canadians, from loneliness to emotional eating. By leveraging free resources, adopting mindful habits, and fostering social connections, you can approach this time with greater resilience.
As a therapist based in Guelph, Ontario, I encourage you to view feelings of loneliness and stress not as personal failures, but as opportunities for growth and connection. Remember, you are not alone, and help is always available.
When someone we care about is going through a difficult time, it can be challenging to know what to say or how to help. We may worry about saying the wrong thing, making things worse, or appearing insensitive. It’s natural to feel this way because we want to offer support and comfort, but we also don’t want to make things worse.
The truth is that there is no magic phrase or solution that will fix everything. However, acknowledging their pain and letting them know that you are there for them can be a powerful show of support. Sometimes, simply listening without judgment can help someone feel heard and validated.
Ultimately, the most important thing is to be genuine and empathetic. You don’t have to have all the answers, but showing that you care and are willing to be there can make a world of difference to someone who is struggling.
10 Things You Can Say
“I’m here for you, whatever you need.” This offers reassurance without demanding they explain more than they’re ready to.
“That sounds really hard.” This validates the difficulty without minimizing it.
“You don’t have to go through this alone.” This reduces the isolation that often makes hard things feel heavier.
“I don’t have the right words, but I care about you.” Honesty is often more comforting than a perfect response.
“Take all the time you need.” This removes the pressure to move on quickly.
“What do you need most right now, someone to listen, or someone to help problem solve?” This lets them lead instead of guessing.
“I’m proud of you for getting through today.” This acknowledges effort, not just outcome.
“This isn’t your fault.” This is especially helpful when guilt or self-blame is present.
“I’m going to check in on you again tomorrow.” This shows ongoing care, not a one-time gesture.
“It’s okay to not be okay.” This normalizes the struggle itself, rather than rushing past it.
A Few Things to Avoid Saying
Even well-meaning words can land wrong. Phrases like “it could always be worse” or “just stay positive” often minimize what someone is going through rather than easing it. We wrote a full breakdown of this, and what to say instead, in Things Not to Say to Someone Who Is Struggling.
Support for You, Too
Supporting someone else well often starts with your own capacity to hold space for them. If you’re navigating something hard yourself, whether it’s anxiety, grief, or something else entirely, reach out for a free consultation.
